Visit the t-shirt/hat shop and tell the world: Drill Baby Drill. Spill Baby Spill.

And don’t miss our Palin Beck 2012 Bumper Stickers!

Jobs, characteristically, did not mince words as he spoke to the assembled, according to a person who was there who could not be named because this person is not authorized by Apple to speak with the press.

On Google: We did not enter the search business, Jobs said. They entered the phone business. Make no mistake they want to kill the iPhone. We won’t let them, he says. Someone else asks something on a different topic, but there’s no getting Jobs off this rant. I want to go back to that other question first and say one more thing, he says. This don’t be evil mantra: “It’s bullshit.” Audience roars.

Palin urged her 800,000-plus Facebook fans to watch the Fox News host:

FOX News’ Glenn Beck is doing an extraordinary job this week walking America behind the scenes of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and outlining who is actually running the White House.

Monday night he asked us to invite one friend to watch; tonight I invite all my friends to watch.

-Sarah Palin

We smell the rumblings of a Draft Palin/Beck Dream Ticket!

Sarah Palin - Glen Beck 2012 Bumper Sticker

Last week, a counterfeit document purporting to be Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate made the rounds of the Internet, but was quickly determined to be fraudulent. The new document released by Taitz bears none of the obvious traits of a hoax.

Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate

Head over to World Net Daily to see closeups and further mental gymnastics!

to the ppl that said i didnt have abs…142 lbs right now- one year difference

You can head over to the forums to the see the before picture if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s the after picture that caught the attention of the Internets (click to expand…if you must):

When someone pointed out the obvious, he answered with, well, who knows what to make of this:

i took a piss and then ran in there to take the pic bro chill out

Yeah…bro, chill out!

What Are These Srawberries Doing On My Nipples

Seriously! I need to make a fruit salad!

The rapper, whose legal name is Curtis James Jackson III, purchased the 52-room mansion from boxer Mike Tyson’s ex-wife in September 2003 for $4,100,000, according to public records, less than a year after Tyson had signed the house over to his ex-wife presumably as part of a divorce settlement. Tyson had bought it in 1996 from a Lithuanian import-export businessman for $2,800,000, according to public records.

Built in 1985, the mansion has 19 bedrooms (or 18, as has been reported in some places), 25 full baths, 14 half baths, two three-story spiral staircases, a full gym, two billiard rooms, racquetball courts, a disco (with stripper poles), brass and marble fireplaces, several kitchens, four whirlpools, a sauna and a hot tub, according to news accounts. The estate includes a boathouse, a tennis court and servants’ quarters, according to news accounts. Jackson reportedly spent up to $6 million to renovate the house, the AP reported, including the addition of a helicopter pad, an infinity pool and spa with a grotto, new decks, windows and roofing, an entirely new main kitchen, a movie theater, and an updated master bedroom. Now, Jackson is billing the house as having a “Miami Vice”-type feel.

What do you wear to 50 Cent’s Mansion? You might want to start with one of these absurd chains. Or perhaps, one of these, from the new set of absurd hip-hop jewelry.

And you better come strapped…with gold and diamond crusted Mexican drug-lord handguns (that is not a joke).