Infected Tube

There is nothing else to say, other than, it’s Shaq and a panda:

In a great/horrible? intersection of The Office and Trojan condom ads, we give you this:

That’s What She Said!

Is this wrong to laugh at?

The Big Time Listings Blog Has Got The Details On Fiddy’s Hard To Move Estate:

The rapper, whose legal name is Curtis James Jackson III, purchased the 52-room mansion from boxer Mike Tyson’s ex-wife in September 2003 for $4,100,000, according to public records, less than a year after Tyson had signed the house over to his ex-wife presumably as part of a divorce settlement. Tyson had bought it in 1996 from a Lithuanian import-export businessman for $2,800,000, according to public records.

Built in 1985, the mansion has 19 bedrooms (or 18, as has been reported in some places), 25 full baths, 14 half baths, two three-story spiral staircases, a full gym, two billiard rooms, racquetball courts, a disco (with stripper poles), brass and marble fireplaces, several kitchens, four whirlpools, a sauna and a hot tub, according to news accounts. The estate includes a boathouse, a tennis court and servants’ quarters, according to news accounts. Jackson reportedly spent up to $6 million to renovate the house, the AP reported, including the addition of a helicopter pad, an infinity pool and spa with a grotto, new decks, windows and roofing, an entirely new main kitchen, a movie theater, and an updated master bedroom. Now, Jackson is billing the house as having a “Miami Vice”-type feel.

What do you wear to 50 Cent’s Mansion? You might want to start with one of these absurd chains. Or perhaps, one of these, from the new set of absurd hip-hop jewelry.

And you better come strapped…with gold and diamond crusted Mexican drug-lord handguns (that is not a joke).

Presented without comment:

Sometimes fortune cookies are cryptic. Other times they offer things that are just plain impossible:

Wow. We are speechless:

A friend sent some photos he took my way and its just lowered my faith in humanity a bit more. I thought I’d share.

Get this woman a stimulus check stat. She needs to buy some oil to power that scooter to buy some more Burger King burgers without getting off of her feet.