Jobs, characteristically, did not mince words as he spoke to the assembled, according to a person who was there who could not be named because this person is not authorized by Apple to speak with the press.

On Google: We did not enter the search business, Jobs said. They entered the phone business. Make no mistake they want to kill the iPhone. We won’t let them, he says. Someone else asks something on a different topic, but there’s no getting Jobs off this rant. I want to go back to that other question first and say one more thing, he says. This don’t be evil mantra: “It’s bullshit.” Audience roars.

(If we missed any, let us know in the comments…)

Randy Moss
In 2005, Minnesota’s controversial wide receiver was fined $10,000 by the NFL for pretending to pull down his pants and moon the Green Bay crowd during a playoff win last weekend. When confronted by a reporter, the following exchange occurred:
Reporter: “Write the check yet, Randy?”

Moss: “When you’re rich you don’t write checks.”

Reporter: “If you don’t write checks, how do you pay these guys?”

Moss: “Straight cash, homey.”

Reporter: “Randy, are you upset about the fine?”

Moss: “No, cause it ain’t shit. Ain’t nothing but 10 grand. What’s 10 grand to me? Ain’t shit … Next time I might shake my dick.”

Lattrell Sprewell

Noted coach-choker Lattrell Sprewell neared the end of his career in Minnesota (where Randy Moss happened to be playing at the time…coincidence?). When it was time for a new contract Sprewell balked.

On October 31, 2004, the Minnesota Timberwolves offered Sprewell a 3-year, $21 million contract extension, substantially less than what his then-current contract paid him. Insulted, he publicly vented his outrage, declaring, “I have a family to feed.”

Funny thing happened after that…he never played basketball again, for any money. Turns out he could have used that $21 million dollars:

Sprewell’s personal life since he last played in the NBA has been plagued with controversy and financial trouble.

On August 30, 2006, Milwaukee police investigated a claim by a 21-year-old female who claimed that she and Sprewell were having consensual sex aboard his 70-foot (21 m) yacht, named “Milwaukee’s Best,” when Sprewell began to strangle her. Police allegedly observed red marks on the woman’s neck. Police investigating the allegation searched Sprewell’s yacht for evidence. On September 6, 2006, police indicated that he would not face any charges from the alleged incident. Sprewell is seeking a restraining order against the woman along with “civil remedies” against the accuser.

On January 31, 2007, Sprewell’s long term companion sued him for $200 million for ending their relationship agreement. She claims Sprewell agreed to support her and their four children since they were in college

On August 22, 2007, it was reported by multiple news agencies that Latrell Sprewell’s yacht was repossessed by federal marshals after Sprewell failed to maintain payments and insurance for the vessel, for which he reportedly still owed approximately $1.3 million. In addition, while piloted by Sprewell, the yacht was run ashore near Atwater Beach, just north of Milwaukee. Sprewell refused to contract with a professional salvage firm to remove the yacht. The yacht was eventually freed with the help of a local fishing vessel.

In February 2008, Sprewell’s yacht was auctioned for $856,000 after he defaulted on a $1.5 million mortgage, and in May 2008 a Milwaukee area home owned by Sprewell went into foreclosure status. In July 2009 a Westchester mansion owned by Sprewell went into foreclosure status. That action was dismissed on motion of another party’s attorney, Roger K. Marion.

Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Where do we even begin with Mr. Mayweather. Here we have a boxer who refused to fight Manny Pacquiao, in what would clearly be the biggest draw for that dying sport. Mayweather clearly is afraid of losing. So let’s review. Boxer. Bitch. Ignorant Ass. Stick with us here, because it all comes together. See Mayweather is on some sort of anti-performance enhancing drug mission, only he wasn’t on it until the idea of boxing against Pacquiao came up. Let’s go to a quote from The Examiner for an explanation of this mess (we promise the context is worth reading before we get to Mayweather’s quote): “If Floyd was so dedicated to equality in Boxing then why did it take him 40 fights, and 14 years after he turned pro, to start demanding equality? I’ve never heard Floyd demand Boxing, and the different Athletic Commissions, to add Steroids to their drug testing before they did. In fact, up until his encounter with Pacquiao, I never heard Floyd publicly “beat the drums” for any type of drug to be tested or any style of drug testing. And, according to Keith Kizer Executive Director of the Nevada State Athletic Commission, he has never petitioned the NSAC to make any changes even after his public outcry toward Pacquiao. loyd’s demands for Pacquiao to take the test are baseless. Pacquiao’s never tested positive for anything, and Floyd has never demanded any other fighter take additional blood tests before this Pacquiao encounter.”

And now, the Pièce de résistance:  “But it’s me taking a stand for something that means something. And it’s for the fighters who are up and coming. It’s sort of the same stance Martin Luther King and Malcolm X made, so we could have freedoms, so everybody could tell the world that we’re equal. The only thing I’m saying is that we are equal. So if you’re not on nothing and I’m not on nothing, then let’s go take the test. That’s all I’m saying.”

John Rocker

Noted racist/pitcher John Rocker played baseball in Atlanta, which is the ‘capital of the New South,’ a place that’s supposedly too busy to hate. Apparently John Rocker never got the memo.  When Sports Illustrated asked him about playing ball games outside of Dixie, in New York City in particular he let loose:

“I’d retire first. It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple  hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing… The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians  and Koreans  and Vietnamese  and Indians  and Russians  and Spanish  people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”

Rocker eventually apologized. But apparently he got sick of apologizing: ““I know Hank [ Aaron ] and Jackie [ Robinson ] took a good deal of crap, but I guarantee it wasn’t for six years. I just keep thinking: How much am I supposed to take?”

Reggie Jackson

Reggie Jackson, Mr. October, managed to spout something offensive/egotistical/insane nearly every time he opened his mouth.  Here are three of our favorites:

“After Jackie Robinson the most important black in baseball history is Reggie Jackson, I really mean that.”

“The only reason I don’t like playing in the World Series is I can’t watch myself play.”

“This team, it all flows from me. I’m the straw that stirs the drink. Maybe I should say me and Munson, but he can only stir it bad.”

Allen Iverson

No list would be complete without some Allen Iverson. We present, for your consideration, the lyrics to his single, 40 Bars

(If you’re wondering who this Jewelz fellow is, that would AI’s alter ego):

For the year 2G the rap game change for one name
Jewelz aim to slain anything on this plane
Remains are found when the best kept secret get heated
You went platinum wit a ghost writer,
so in the game you won you cheated
My slang bang when you need it
You man enuff to pull a gun be man enuff to squeeze it
(*gunshots*) Die if you don’t believe it
Anything to do wit millions I’ma be wit it
Hats off to the hardcore niggaz FUCK the rest
In my guess y’all useless, just talkin music
Never mistake me for a fake MC
You got the wrong idea nigga I’m CT fool
Get murdered in a second in the first degree
Come to me wit faggot tendacies
You’ll be sleepin where the maggots be
Ain’t nuthin kinda used to beef actually
but when it’s on I raise first automatically
Won’t catch me as a victim and a rap casualty
Dynasty Raiders hit VA in the summertime
Ten Bentleys in one line
Gats in each hand, twin 45′s in mines
Snipers hittin niggaz long distance for a rate
Sons and daughters, one order you’ll be floatin in water
Bad news home of the Dynasty Raiders
One luv to the ol school niggaz
They in the jail tryin to raise us
Even the ones that tried to blaze us
but couldn’t even graze us
See dem bitch azz niggaz y’all killin don’t amaze us
Y’all slobbin I’m spittin wit a mouf full of rage
(DIS MY NIGGA JEWELS REPRESENTIN BAD NEWS
YO MY HOMIE SAY DAT SHIT)
Everybody stay fly get money kill and fuck bitches
I’m hittin anything in plain view for my riches
VA’s finest fillin up ditches, when niggaz turn to bitches
die for zero digits; I’ma giant yall midgets
I know killaz that kill for a fee
that’ll kill yo’ ass for free, believe me
How you wanna die fast or slowly?
Fast as a rolie, slow as a rolie polie
I bought yo shit it was weak, trashed it now you owe me
All the hardcore niggas know me
I aint knockin, I’m jus gon’ bust up in the motherfucker
Takin anything that’s rightfully mines
Lust, AKs, rifles, and nines
Physique crew, thick designs
wit jewels that shine all the time
Ain’t nuthin sweet about this rate of mystique
Got niggas while you eat shit sleep and beat yo meat
die reachin fo heat, leave you leakin in da street
Niggas screamin he was a good boy ever since he was born
but fuck it he gon life must go on niggas don’t live that long
but hoes in wigs niggas that think they head strong
got niggas hollerin Jewelz dead wrong on this song
THIS TYPE OF MURDA DONT NEED NO HOOK
JUST FORTY FUCKIN BARS FROM DA MOUF OF A CROOK!!!
YO!!

How about Mike Tyson you ask? We think he’s just flat out nuts, but we’ll leave you with this: “I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children.”

Tiger Woods Caught Texting A Lady-friend? With His Wife By His Side?

TMZ, the source, has been all over this story.

Wayne Spring of Albany, Lousisana After telling his FaceBook friends they could shoot up his T.V. if the Saints beat the Redskins, they showed up in full force after the Saints won in OT 33-30.

No words will do this justice, so just watch the video and enjoy one more game of the Saints incredible so-far undefeated season.

So let’s get the back story on this video which really can only be described as…America, Fuck Yeah!

Wayne Spring shot off his mouth. And then a firing squad of Saints fans shot up his 60-inch flat screen – may it rest in pieces.

The Louisiana man predicted a Washington Redskins’ victory over undefeated New Orleans last Sunday – and offered local fans a chance to blast his beloved television if the Saints prevailed.

They did, with a 33-30 overtime triumph. Within minutes, Spring’s phone was ringing madly. And then his Albany, La., driveway was filled with Saints fans fueled by vengeance and beer.

“They said they were coming with guns,” said Spring. “And then they were in my driveway. With guns.”

The executioners – most in Saints jerseys – shot his television to bits, the fusillade of handgun and rifle fire every bit as accurate as a Drew Brees bomb.

“They blew it to smithereens,” said Spring, who owns a pair of local trailer parks.

He taped the whole thing and posted it on YouTube, where it’s collected more than 150,000 viewings.

“I’m not sure if I was drinking or not when I made the offer,” Spring said yesterday. “But I know when they came here, some of those fellas were drinking.

So, to summarize. New Orleans Saints fan, doubting that his beloved New Orleans Saints could keep their undefeated season going against the so-so Redskins, decides to allow his [Facebook Friends] to shoot up his 60 inch flat screen TV is said beloved Saints win…which is supposedly what he wants to happen.

We doubt that the gun-toting fella with the Saints tattoo on the back of his neck/head would have ever made such a bet. Now the big question is, what happens when the Saints are 15-0 headed into the final game. What else will this gentleman offer to shoot up? Only time will tell.

Gawker had this to say:

Since most Sarah Palin fetishists think she’s Christ reincarnated with a folksy twang and fertile vagina, it stands to reason that someone would eventually make a Palin video tribute set to the music of R. Kelly. That time is now.

At first glance you’d think that this utterly hilarious compilation, featuring the music of a black man renowned for on-camera golden showers and statutory rape, was a parody made by Keith Olbermann or Bill Maher’s staffs, but it was actually put together and posted to the web this morning by the delusional wingnuts who run the Conservatives4Palin website. Prepare to be mesmerized.

We also would be doing you a great disservice if we didn’t include a copy of Conservatives4Palin’s logo, a shot of Alaskan mountains and and the Trans-Alaskan Pipeline split by Palin’s backside. Got that? Mountains, ass, and oil!

Conservatives4Palin Think She Is The World's Greatest

And here is what the naive video editor had to say:

This video was a lot of fun to make and only took a few hours (I harvested clips from other Sarah Palin “bests” out there). The main purpose of this film is to share with you some clips that you might not have seen and to uplift and encourage all of your Palin-ites out there. We support a great woman that has truly taken a stand. She’s one of the world’s greatest!

Do you think he knows this song was written by a child molester about a black boxer named Muhammad?

Apparently we were too quick to put that second list together because Soulja Boy aka Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em has gone and gotten himself a Lamborghini Diamond Chain. But wait, there’s more. The chain comes off, and can be controlled with a remote control, making it possibly the most expensive toy-car/jewelry every produced.

RapRadar had this to say:

Now, I’ve never been one to clock another man’s paper, but I think it’s time for an intervention. A diamond encrusted toy car? I mean, really. You’re 19-years-old DeAndre. You know, an adult. Now would probably be a good time time to start acting like one. Yes, you’re entitled to spend your money however want, but as a public figure, your prodigal habits help perpetuate stereotypes regarding Blacks and finance. Hey, I’m no Suze Orman, but at least I’m smart enough to know the difference between guns and butter.

Well, what do you expect for a video entitled (by its author, on his own YouTube account) rich nigga shit pt. 6

To see a proper tribute peep Jay-Z opening with No Sleep Til Brooklyn

Gawker breaks down the madness:

With Glenn Beck running loose spouting all sorts of crazy-talk, you just knew at some point he’d say something to cause enough of an uproar that the Fox News brass would have to address it. Beck finally did that today.

The incident in question occurred this morning on Fox & Friends when Beck made his weekly drop-in on the folksy vegetables who host that show. In the course of discussing the controversy surrounding the arrest of Henry Louis Gates and Barack Obama’s subsequent comments on the matter, Beck said that Obama has a “deep-seeded hatred for white people and white culture…I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people…this guy is, I believe, a racist.”

Fox News then released this statement:

During Fox & Friends this morning, Glenn Beck expressed a personal opinion which represented his own views, not those of the Fox News Channel. And as with all commentators in the cable news arena, he is given the freedom to express his opinions.

Gawker cut to the heart of the lunacy: “So in other words, Fox News said this: Glenn Beck is free to use our airwaves to say whatever the hell he wants, no matter how baseless and irresponsible the things he says may be, and will you now please leave us the hell alone.”

intransitive verb
1 : to talk in a noisy, excited, or declamatory manner
2 : to scold vehemently

transitive verb : to utter in a bombastic declamatory fashion

In that spirit, we at Infected Tube have put together this classic collection that we’re calling The Best Rants Of All Time Caught On Video

When Michael Jackson passed away, and the media fawned over the recently deceased, one belligerent little Congressman decided that he had had enough – “Congressman Pete King feels that we should be honoring the good men and women of our country who have dedicated their lives to helping others and serving our country not Michael Jackson.” OK. Sure.

In this infamous clip, Christian Bale absolutely flips his shit on the set of Terminator Salvation when a member of the crew interrupts the deep concentration that playing such a serious role in a work of art such as Terminator Salvation requires:

Once upon a time there was an Inside Edition anchor named Bill O’Reilly. Today he’s the leading voice of Fox News, and sometimes goes by the name of Papa Bear. But many years ago, he had a run-in with a teleprompter that shook him to the core. Without further adieu, let’s do it live!

On the topic of Papa Bear, Stephen Colbert unearthed some more footage of this infamous meltdown:
A couple years ago, Alec Baldwin decided that he had taken enough crap from his ‘rude thoughtless pig’ of a 12 year old daughter. So he left her this voicemail:

In this infamous clip that somehow found its way off the set of I Heart Huckabees, actress Lily Tomlin and director David O. Russell unload on each other:

When Dennis Green, then coach of the Arizona Cardinals, watched his team let a victory over the bears slip away, he lost his cool. To think, the Bears were who they thought they were, and then…they let them off the hook:

Denny Green isn’t the only football coach who list his shit during a post game press conference. When a reporter asked Jim Mora about the possibility of the playoffs for the Colts, he was, well, befuddled. The classic rant was later immortalized in this Coors Light Commercial.

Rick Santelli, reporting for CNBC from the pits of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, rants about…homeowners defaulting on mortgages…tea parties…who knows. America, Fuck Yeah!

When MTV didn’t give Kanye West the awards that the autotuned Gay Fish felt he was entitled to, well that was just too much:

You don’t need to be a celebrity to record a world famous rant in the age of the Internets…Let’s be honest, who actually knows the name of the Leave Britney Alone ranter:

Michael Richards, better known as Cosmo Kramer, lost it one sad, sad night at the Laugh Factory in 2006. Real? A Joke? Racist? We report. You decide. Or something:

Henry Rollins – America Is Under Attack. In the grand tradition of musicians making political statements, Henry Rollins goes absolutely nuts on everyone who is screwing up America.

Keeping in the spirit of our medium, we present to you another CNBC correspondent, a dweeby looking man named Dennis Kneale who–bless his sad, small brain–realized he could call bloggers Digital Dickweeds on air and get away with it. Of course we later learned that the whole thing was an act–perhaps he wasn’t as stupid as he looked and sounded–meant to attract viewers and the all important ratings. Keep it classy Dennis:

We’ll close with a fictional rant, by one Howard Beale (played by Peter Finch), in the masterpiece 1976 film Network, written by Paddy Chayefsky and directed by Sidney Lumet. He was, Mad As Hell, And He Wasn’t Going To Take It Anymore:

Want more? Check out YouTube playlists dedicated to ‘Meltdowns caught on tape.’

The Taco Bell chihuahua was a popular advertising figure and mascot, voiced by Carlos Alazraqui, and developed by TBWA and used by Taco Bell, which is a division of Kentucky, United States-based Yum! Brands. The Chihuahua is a breed commonly associated with Mexico, as are the tacos the restaurant serves. At least two dogs were used as models: the original was named Dinky, but was replaced shortly thereafter by a dog named Gidget. Dinky and a dog named Taco would also be stand-ins for Gidget.

If convicted, the pad belonging to Zhenli Ye Go is going to get auctioned off and wouldn’t it be fantabulous if one of you made it your/our own?
…
“You realize that the mansions in movies like ‘Scarface’ aren’t exaggerations,” says Omar Yaffar, a 36-year-old manager at a branch of the Mexican Finance Ministry known as the Asset Administration and Disposal Service. “The real thing can be more amazing.” Think “Hansel and Gretel meets Pablo Escobar,” which for the coke blowing candy lovers in the audience (you know who you are, don’t deny it) should be argument enough to fork it over for this thing. For the others, who need a little more convincing, this is what you could be coming home to:

* a labyrinth of garden trails among man-made ponds fed by waterfalls

* a cave-like underground hot-tub complex about the size of a backyard swimming pool, featuring faux stalactites and a fireplace

* a glass skylight that allows bathers to gaze up at lions or a pair of albino tigers that dwell in a cage on the roof (the animals have since been donated to a zoo but you could get them back, easy, or bring in your own)

* Versace dinnerware to go with Baccarat wine glasses and Lalique Champagne flutes

Other items that will be up for grabs at the same auction, and which I really think you’ll need to feel comfortable in your new home:

* A Rolex watch and band custom-jeweled to resemble leopard’s skin

* De La Cour watches featuring skull or marijuana-leaf motifs

* a pair of gold pistol grips with raised eagle busts adorned with diamonds and emeralds

(via Dealbreaker)

And last but not least, a watch dedicated to the little plant that made this all possible:

Hip Hop artists who own large, ostentatious chains…the gauntlet has been thrown! Your move gentlemen.

When Burr Robbins heard knocking at his door, he didn’t expect to be tied up and robbed.

“The minute I opened that door up, these two characters rammed their way right in,” Robbins said.

The men tied Robbins, a wheelchair bound war veteran, with electrical tape and demanded that he tell them where his money and medication were.

Yvette “Mickey” Jackson suffered burns over half of her body. The sheriff said her 12-year-old child was also in the car before she set herself on fire.

Jackson’s 14-year-old daughter called 911 from a mobile home trying to save her mother’s life, too shaken to clearly utter an address.

“My mom is committing suicide. Help her… She’s on fire… she poured alcohol all over herself and lit herself on fire,” she told 911 dispatchers.

Within minutes, police and firefighters rushed to help.

A woman described as between 16 to 19 years old, walked into the Starbucks around 3 p.m. Monday and bought a drink, and walked out to the parking lot. The 20-year-old man she was with grabbed the tip jar and ran, the newspaper reported.

The man, who police said was a regular customer, saw the incident and ran after the man.

“The car door was open, they sped off and he gets run over,” Capt. Rick Downs of the Crestwood police told the newspaper. “He ended up underneath the car.”

An anonymous donor, as well as Starbucks, each put up a $10,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the suspects.

Most traffic around Times Square was allowed to pass by 6:45 a.m., after vehicles had been diverted for more than two hours. City officials confirmed that police had initially blocked off the area as a precaution to ensure that there was no secondary device or other threat; the officials emphasized that they did not believe anyone was in danger.

Police officers at the scene said the explosion blew a hole through the front door of the recruiting station, which is at the northern end of the structure.

Members of the Joint Terrorism Task Force, the large Police Department and F.B.I. unit that investigates terrorism, were at the scene of the blast, supporting the Police Department’s Bomb Squad, which along with other police detectives likely will take the lead role in investigating the incident, an F.B.I. official said. The official said that in today’s attack, a man in a gray hooded sweatshirt was seen leaving the scene on a bicycle.

The 17 second clip sparked outrage after it was viewed thousands of times before being yanked by the popular Web site YouTube.

The video shows two Marines, one of them holding a black and white puppy by the scruff of the neck.

Both men are heard saying how cute the puppy is before the soldier holding the dog lifts it above his head and hurls it across the rocky landscape into a small ravine.

Sounds of a puppy yelping in distress can be heard as the camera shows the dog flying through the air.

The Marines responded on Monday, saying the men in the clip appear to be based in Kaneohe, Hawaii.

Officials said they believe the Marine in the video is a lance corporal who returned to Hawaii in October from Iraq.

“This is a shocking and deplorable video that contrary to the high standards we set for every Marine. We will investigate this and take appropriate action,” Maj. Christopher Perrine said.

Those who watched the clip on YouTube were similarly outraged.

YouTube user evergladephish wrote, “He should be court martialed, and then have someone grab him by the scruff of the neck and toss him over a cliff.”

Others questioned whether the clip may have been staged as a sick joke.

“We need to find out who is this person, is this a legitimate video? Was it edited?” Maj. Perrine said.

If the video proves to be authentic, the Marines in the clip could face judicial charges, demotions in rank and pay and even a court-martial. They could also be discharged.

Vinod Gupta, the chairman and chief executive of InfoUSA in Omaha, the parent of Salesgenie.com, said in a telephone interview Tuesday that a commercial featuring two animated pandas speaking with what were intended as Chinese accents would be withdrawn.

“We never thought anyone would be offended,” said Mr. Gupta, who developed and wrote both commercials himself.

“The pandas are Chinese,” he said. “They don’t speak German.”

Still, “if I offended anybody,” Mr. Gupta said, “believe me, I apologize.”

Mr. Gupta said he planned to keep running the other Salesgenie commercial, featuring an animated salesman named Ramesh who speaks with an Indian or other South Asian accent.

The reason, Mr. Gupta said, was that “more people seem upset about the pandas than Ramesh.”

“People have been making fun of my accent for years,” said Mr. Gupta, who described himself in the interview as half-Indian and half-Jewish. “And I love it.”

Police said a school bus driver in Clinton, Connecticut drove more than 70 children in November while intoxicated.

Ramona Jennings was charged with driving under the influence on Tuesday.

Clinton police said she drank vodka for an hour and then drove a bus with 77 children on November 27.

“It’s my understanding that approximately 77 children from three different schools were on her bus that afternoon,” Sgt. Jerry Dunn of the Clinton Police Department.

Jennings ignored radio calls from other drivers asking her to stop the bus, police said.

She was swerving within lanes with the caution lights on, police said.
Police said a relief driver chased the bus down after Jennings refused to stop.

She eventually pulled over and said she was capable of driving, police said.

She was talked off the bus and another driver took over her route, police said.

“Apparently her conduct was suspicious and uncharacteristic, and her fellow bus drivers were concerned, and they actually had her pull over and have another driver take over her route,” Dunn said.

M&J Bus Co. had Jennings tested privately after she was taken off the bus.

Her blood alcohol content was more than four times the legal limit, at 0.343 percent, police said.

There were no injuries.