Infected Tube

Jobs, characteristically, did not mince words as he spoke to the assembled, according to a person who was there who could not be named because this person is not authorized by Apple to speak with the press.

On Google: We did not enter the search business, Jobs said. They entered the phone business. Make no mistake they want to kill the iPhone. We won’t let them, he says. Someone else asks something on a different topic, but there’s no getting Jobs off this rant. I want to go back to that other question first and say one more thing, he says. This don’t be evil mantra: “It’s bullshit.” Audience roars.

Brilliant!

U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for the U.S. economy.

You had to know that some enterprising video crew (NYVideoProduction) was going to follow up on the massive viral success of the JK Wedding Video Entrance Dance with a satirical JK Divorce Entrance Dance:

Some details:

The YouTube video, which is titled JK Divorce Entrance Dance, was posted by NYVideoProduction on Wednesday, and– like its predecessor– is racking up the views. In the description, the company says, “We’ve all seen the JK Wedding Entrance Dance. Now let’s see what happens 6 months later!”
…
The new, parody version—which is also done to Brown’s ‘Forever’— is set not in a church, but in a courtroom instead. It’s complete with lawyers, bailiffs, a judge, and of course the not-so-happy couple— all of whom dance their way to the front of the courtroom. Don’t worry—the groom’s flip, as seen in the original, is still included.

When the music slows, the bride and groom climb up onto tables and appear to fight in slow motion, as do a female ‘court reporter’ and another woman who appears to be a witness. The ladies engage in some hair pulling— all in slow motion, of course.

Catch the original on Infected Tube.

Gawker explains:
Ridiculous, panty-raiding Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank is partaking in further jackassery on behalf of the legendary paper yet again, now making videos where he’s calling Hillary Clinton a “mad bitch.” The Post pulled the video, but someone kept it.

Milbank likes tries to be funny and cool and things that traditional newspaper columnists aren’t! Which is funny, again, because – as made evident by his last appearance here: his embarrassing HuffPo-diss-hiss punditry on CNN – he hates bloggers, who do that kind of thing for a living, because we’re not journalists or something. But that kind of doesn’t make sense, because here he is, making a video about the Obama Beer Summit, suggesting that all parties involved “got it all wrong” and also, that Hillary Clinton should drink “Mad Bitch Beer.” The

Says The Superficial:

Gina Gershon stars in a spoof campaign video released today for McCain running mate Governor Sarah Palin. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t want to give away the ending but Gina Gershon strips down to a bikini and fires a shotgun. Somebody get this woman an Oscar. All of them. In the meantime, I wrote a blurb for the DVD cover:

“I laughed till I cried. Then I laughed some more – followed by more crying then laughing. Then I did what I call a ‘cry-augh.’ At which point I felt confident my co-workers couldn’t figure out I was masturbating.” – The Superficial Writer

P.S. – Check out John McCain on a yacht with actress Anne Hathaway and convicted con-man Raffaello Follieri.

When Paris Hilton Owns You, You Know Your Campaign Is Over:

The Retarded John McCain Ad She Mocked: